


you are not alone, i've been here the whole time singing you a song

by racheltuckerrr



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: F/F, Heist Wives, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Heist, Sick Fic, also a bit of lou!backstory but not too much, they are ridiculous and they know it and so does everyone else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 19:51:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15541749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/racheltuckerrr/pseuds/racheltuckerrr
Summary: When Lou falls ill soon after the Met heist, Deb becomes slightly overprotective as she takes care of her and here's how that goes.





	you are not alone, i've been here the whole time singing you a song

**Author's Note:**

> this is my firstttt in the fandom so be kind! and enjoy :)

_"I know it hurts_  
_It’s hard to breathe sometimes_  
_These nights are long_  
_You’ve lost the will to fight_

 _Is anybody out there?_  
_Can you lead me to the light_  
_Is anybody out there?_  
_Tell me it’ll all be alright"_

_Ruelle // Carry You_

* * *

Lou wakes up on the downstairs couch with a pounding headache and some very vague recollections of the night before when the gang’s post-heist celebration took place.

Her current location doesn’t warrant any interest, as Lou is known in the group as the one who can fall asleep anywhere at any given time. The headache and corresponding nausea however do, as she is also famous for never having hangovers, and definitely none like this one in recent memory.

Her vision is blurry and her eyes are uncooperative when she opens them, so she closes them again. She grunts as she tries to push herself into a sitting position and lets out a strangled whine when her efforts don’t pay off and she falls right back down with a thud and a crack of her joints. Lou changes tactic then and pats all along the space next to her where she last remembers seeing Debbie the night before, but now finds it empty.

In a last-ditch effort, she tries to call for the only person she could ever think to call for, but curses inwardly when her usual gravely Aussie lilt is nowhere to be found and what comes out instead is a lot more akin to a dying hyena’s last battle call than any sort of human intonation that she was going for.

_Oh, bugger._

_-_

Tammy is the one who finds her first when she arrives - customarily early, but this time Lou really doesn’t mind - for what apparently they decided last night would be a continuation of the festivities in inhouse brunch form. This also explains Debbie’s absence who must have gone to get the food and who knows what else.

“Lou?” Tammy calls with an edge of worry in her voice that reminds Lou that she is a mother. “Oh, dear, we’re not looking too good.”

Despite some weak and ultimately futile protests on the bed-ridden Australian’s part, Tammy goes into high alert mom mode immediately and fusses over her for a while. Half an hour, some painkillers and a chamomile tea later Lou finally doses off, only to be woken up again when Constance pokes at her side to check if she’s still breathing, Amita following close behind.

“Is she ok?” she thinks she hears Rose’s accent in the background, but she really can’t be sure.

Everything is muted and blurry and something inside of Lou keeps reminding her to stay on guard, even if she can’t quite remember the reason. Force of habit more than anything else, but this one is particularly hard to shake.

Logically, Lou knows that she is safe here, but if she could only see Deb’s face then maybe she would believe it too.

As it is, she just needs a better vantage point than lying face down in the middle of the loft where everyone can see her wretched state which only makes Lou feel more like a zoo animal and even less of a human being. After a few near misses she finally manages to prop herself up into something resembling a sitting position, though it lacks all her usual swagger or coordination.

“Aw man, Lou, you’re not looking too hot, dude.”

“Indeed not. Should we get Tammy?”

“I think she knows that, guys.”

“Does she though?"

“Just thought she might want an update. You’re still a solid ten though, no worries.”

“Who’s ten?”

“That’s not…oh, nevermind.”

Lou clears her throat to get the attention of whoever is closest and it seems to work because suddenly they’re all quiet -- a rare feat to achieve when all of them are together.

Well, not all of them.

Hence the whole reason she’s trying to speak. Lou manages a slight mumble, but her throat is so sore that whatever comes out is not even close to what she was going for and Amita – or at least Lou thinks it’s her – leans in closer to try and make out what she just said.

“Um, bed?” She tries to which Lou vehemently shakes her head no.

Then promptly regrets it when all it does is push the throbbing pain in her head to another level and Lou is horrified when she’s almost on the verge of tears with the effort to say a single syllable.

“’ _eb_.”

“Med? You want some more meds, Lou?” Amita asks again, then turns to the others when she gets another, slightly smaller head-shake in return. “Do any of you understand what she’s saying?”

“She wants ‘er girl,” a new voice joins in from the corner of the room and Nine Ball pops her gum as she continues clicking away on her laptop without as much as looking up, let alone reacting to the fact that no one even knew she was in the room until that moment.

It’s not even close to the first time though, so they don’t dwell on it, and Lou gives a whine in the affirmative before falling back on the pillows with a pained grunt. The resounding soft “ _oh’s_ ” do nothing to calm her feverish nerves and she ends up staring at the ceiling until her vision is so hazy that she has no choice but to close her eyes.

She _just_ needs some rest. And her partner.

 * * * 

Debbie arrives an hour later with bags full of takeout, a new shade of lipstick for everyone and a bounce in her step that only comes after a successful job.

“Oh good, you’re all up!” She half yells while closing the door with one high-heeled foot. “I could use a criminally talented hand or two ‘cause I come bearing…”

She trails off when she senses all sets of eyes on her, but no one seems to be moving to help her out when usually Constance would have already taken the bags from her and Tammy would have the contents laid out on the kitchen counter before Debbie’s jacket came off -- which was Lou’s job more often than not.

But now, nothing.

Well, nothing except for the four women crowded around their comfiest couch that Debbie has a very fond memory falling asleep on the night before, then leaving a sleep-tousled blonde behind this morning with a kiss on the cheek and some errant hopes of more to come soon.

“… _gifts_. What’s going on here?”

When no one volunteers an answer, nor do they make any effort to move out of the way so Debbie can figure it out for herself, a well-oiled switch in her brain instantly flicks itself on and she tilts her head slightly. Debbie Ocean is suddenly on a mission and her eyes narrow in on her mark in less time than it takes to blink.

Rose doesn’t disappoint and Debbie gives herself a mental pat on the shoulder as the designer hangs her head and silently steps away, clearing the path to the couch. And on it…

“ _Lou._ ”

Debbie drops everything as she rushes to her partner’s side in an instant, forgetting that they’re not alone as she takes Lou’s face in her hands, frantically touching her everywhere to make sure she’s alright.

“Shit,” she mutters as she touches Lou’s damp forehead and then her own to see the difference. “Shit, shit, fuck. Oh, honey.”

She keeps fussing over the sleeping blonde for another minute or two when she hears a badly-concealed giggle coming from the group behind her.

Snapping back into the moment, Debbie turns around and fixes them all with her infamous Ocean stare, guaranteed to work every single time. Then, without waiting for the slight panic to settle over their faces, she sends a rapidfire of questions right along with it, hoping that her stern exterior will be enough to mask the very real, rising concern in her voice.

“Did you take her temperature? Does she have enough fluids? Where’s the fucking meds in this place? And _why_ doesn’t she have a _blanket_ on her?!”

“Deborah, that’s enough.” Tammy says evenly from the doorway, coming to the rescue as per usual, and the others use this opportunity to scurry as fast as their feet carry them. “Calm down, sweetie.”

Debbie’s focus narrows in solely on Tammy this time who gives as good as she gets, not backing down until Debbie sighs and drops her shoulders, relieving some tension.

Only then does she inform Debbie with a shrug, “She kept kicking it off and I know you never believe me when I say this, but I’m not a magician.”

Debbie snorts and rolls her eyes in an attempt to keep some tears from falling while Tammy waits patiently for the wave of emotion to pass. Eventually it does and soon they’re both laughing softly as Tammy knowingly squeezes her friend’s shoulder.

“I only went out to get her some chicken soup, okay?”

“Yeah…okay.” Debbie discreetly wipes a stray tear from her eye as she gives her friend a soft smile. “Thanks, Tim-Tam.”

“Come on you, let’s get her upstairs.”

-

For the next few days, Debbie takes care of Lout the best way she knows how and keeps vigil by her bedside, never leaving her for more than absolutely necessary.

More interestingly, there is not a soul in the house who questions anything about that, though that has probably more to do with Debbie’s ability to scare them shitless than anything else. She figures there’s enough guesses circulating in the group about her and Lou already, especially if Tammy added her own two cents with all the history between the three of them. Either way, she knows they understand.

And they really are family now, all of them. Not bound by blood maybe, but all the more profound for that. Their family of choice, so to speak.

And family always takes care of one another.

No one knew that better than Lou and Debbie.

-

The first night, she stays in Lou’s bedroom with her, simply because she can’t bear to leave her alone. Lou is barely even conscious the whole evening as the worst of the fever wracks her body, save for a few minutes at a time when she reaches for Debbie and holds on tight.

So Debbie stays.

She doesn’t sleep much, but for once she doesn’t mind. Because here, in the dark with a bedridden Lou, she finally forgets about her own demons as they fade into the back of her mind at the prospect of taking care of someone else. Not just someone else, but Lou.

Lou. Her partner in more ways than one, but still not nearly enough.

Lou, who even in sleep is bigger than life as she keeps tossing and turning, yet who looks so fragile like this that Debbie wants to cry and shake her better at the same time.

Lou, who is always there to answer Debbie’s call at the drop of a hat, even after all this time and never asks for anything in return.

Lou, whose mere thought is the one thing powerful enough that for once in her life, Debbie Ocean just stops and allows herself to be in the moment with her.

She stops everything - the constant scheming, the paranoia she picked up in prison, the worry about her brother, the itch for something new and undiscovered, stops it all and vanishes all of these thoughts that one way or another all have to do with satisfying an itch that she herself feels - and just listens.

She listens to the even breaths of her partner, the rise and fall of her chest on the bed next to her and the occasional whimper that makes Debbie’s heart squeeze for just a moment too long whenever she hears it.

She suspects even Tammy probably doesn’t know why Lou being sick is such a big deal and she is just stepping out of the way like she’d always done where Deb and Lou were concerned. But then again, Debbie was inside for five years, which is a long time for two people to get close when someone they both love is out of the picture. She might even feel jealous if she thought she had any right whatsoever.

She’s broken out of her thoughts by another, much louder noise as Lou whines and claws at the sheets like she’s looking for a way out and Deb acts on instinct as she leans in close to hold her through it and whisper soft reassurances in her ear.

“You’re safe here, Lou.” Then, remembering she adds, “everyone is safe. He can’t hurt any of you anymore, okay? I promise.”

She leans over the restless blonde to smooth her anxiety fraught features with gentle fingers and a kiss on the forehead. “I promise, honey.”

Debbie closes her eyes with a shaky sigh as she thinks about how terrified a young Lou must have been if that childhood instinct is still so strongly ingrained in her today. She also knows all too well what it’s like to live in a house where the current of tension is always bubbling just underneath the surface and you have to be ready for it to blow at any given moment, without the slightest warning.

When you need an escape plan even for brushing your teeth at night.

It’s one of the many reasons why her and Lou have always understood each other on a level that was more profound than anything else either had experienced before, but there was also one big difference between them.

Debbie always had Danny, when they were little. Her big brother. Someone to hide behind, someone to follow, who naturally took charge and took care of her without a second thought when she was too young to do it herself.

She was never the big sibling, like Lou.

Debbie never knew what it was like to be responsible for two youngsters who couldn’t possibly be expected to comprehend what was there to be so afraid of, let alone carry the weight of that understanding with her. She never had to find out what it was like to be completely alone with a burden like that.

To be constantly on guard and only be able to count on yourself to the point where even catching a cold was a flight risk that could have terrifying consequences.

Debbie never had to experience firsthand what any of that was like, until very recently. When she landed herself in prison, she had to learn the hard way what Lou already had, when she was only a child. To say she felt guilt consume her in waves after that whenever she thought about the partner she left behind would have been a colossal understatement.

Prison taught Debbie much, including many things she never _ever_ cared to know about, but the most valuable lesson was to never take anything for granted. Anyone.

Solitary had been a fine way to plan the jewel-heist of the century, but Debbie also had to learn that when you spend enough time with yourself in silence, you don’t always end up liking what goes through your head, and that lead to some particularly hard realisations that weren’t as fun to share as say, the plans for robbing a 150 million dollar diamond necklace from a vault fifty feet underground.

Oceans were never the self-loathing type of people, but Debbie came as close as she ever would in those five years, eight months and twelve days. Looking back on the events leading up to and how she betrayed Lou, how she had been treating her even before that was something that still kept her up at night -- not that she would ever put that on Lou’s conscience.

But she had to face the fact that everything has always been all about _her_ , what she wanted, what she thought she needed, and Debbie felt a different kind of sick at how selfish she’d been.

Lou told her that once in a heated argument sometime just before Claude Becker, and Debbie never let her apologize for it because she was right.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

Debbie whispers and draws gentle circles on the back of a sleeping hand -- her very own silent promise.

-

The next time Debbie apologises to Lou, she’s just woken up from an afternoon nap to find deep brown eyes gazing into hers as she slowly comes to.

“Hey,” Deb smiles and smooths the fringe out of Lou’s eyes while she blinks awake like a baby bird seeing the world for the first time.

“Hey,” Lou drawls and when Debbie doesn’t seem in a hurry to have her hand back, she grabs it with her own and they stay like that for a while just taking each other in, everything else forgotten.

Lou finally pulls away when a coughing fit overtakes her and by the time she turns back around Debbie is right there with a glass of water and an achingly beautiful smile. Lou says nothing as she gulps the liquid down obediently in one go, then turns back to the brunette with a hint of the old mischief back in her eyes.

“You know, if I’d known that getting all snotty and disgusting was all it took to have you around all the time like this- ”

“Don’t,” Deb cuts her off unexpectedly with an air of seriousness that wasn’t there a moment ago. “Don’t do that, don’t ever make light of _that_.”

“I wasn’t! Jesus Deb, it was just a stupid line!” Lou tosses her hair back the way she does when she’s riled up about something even though she knows it’s her worst giveaway. “It’s not like I’m expecting you to apologise or something.”

“Well, maybe you should,” Deb sighs, eyes flitting away before she forces herself to look at Lou again. “I mean, _I_ should. Because I fucked up, Lou. I fucked up so big,” she sobs into her hand and all Lou can think about is how beautiful she still is, even like this.

Her beautiful, brave girl.

Lou Miller has been captivated by Debbie Ocean for as long as she’s known her, but she already knows that this moment will always stand out in her mind as the one when Debbie put her first.

“Not because you were right and I was wrong, but…because we were partners, we were family, and I went and ruined that. And that is inexcusable. And I am so, very sorry.” She looks so stricken that Lou finally gives in to the familiar, overwhelming desire to offer her comfort and to hell with the irony.

Deb fights it at first though, repeating her apologies like a mantra until she can barely speak anymore, “shit, so s-sorry, Lou, I’m so sorry. I can’t- ”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Lou says evenly, rubbing her back until she stills in her arms.

“I- “

“We’re still partners. _Family_.” She touches Deb’s cheek gently with her thumb. “Always.”

Debbie swallows hard, and Lou knows what’s coming before she can say it.

“No buts. Honey, I appreciate the apology, but what matters to me is that you came back. That you’re here now. And as far as I’m concerned, five years in the slammer didn’t change anything for us.”

They let that settle over them for a while as they sit side by side on the edge of the bed, arms still touching.

“Maybe just one thing,” Deb whispers looking over into Lou’s eyes where she can’t possibly miss the genuine surprise that Lou couldn’t hide fast enough because she feels it down to her bones. And a lot of other things too, as her gaze drops down to Debbie’s lips involuntarily.

Debbie smiles shyly and they’re both blushing like teenagers when Lou finally clears her throat.

“I see. We’ll be getting back to that later, but as lovely as it’s been being cooped up here with you, I’m getting a tad bit fed up with these four walls.” Lou grimaces, feeling a lot more like herself. “What do you say we venture out into society, my dear?”

“You read my mind, baby,” Deb chuckles and they head downstairs to the great delight of a couch full of Netflix-watching criminals.

* * * 

“And you tellin’ us they ain’t together?” Leslie asks with a tilt of her head, her tone a perfect mix of nonchalance and disbelief that suggests she already knows the answer, but doesn’t buy it for a single second.

After an impromptu dinner party that may or may not have involved some really good stolen champagne, the girls pulled out an Activity board from God-knows-where for a little showdown competition in pairs of two.

Deb and Lou swept everyone else off the board like usual and the rest of them collectively agreed to ban them from teaming up in the future ever again, unless they were willing to share the profit, of course. This resulted in excessive pouting and everyone else being kicked off the couch where the two of them promptly fell asleep not long after.

The rest of the gang congregated on the remaining chairs a few feet away and were talking in soft voices so as not to disturb the two women, especially as they soon became the topic at hand.

Tammy shrugs her shoulders in response to the question and when that doesn’t cut it she sighs with the patience of a resigned mother who knows when to throw in the towel.

“Listen,” she starts by taking an all-too-long breath that draws Amita and Constance who’ve been silently chilling in the corner closer and into their little circle. Daphne’s ear also perks up from her place on the sofa where she is pouring over old fashion magazines with Rose, tugs on the designer’s dress to get her attention as Nine Ball leans forward on her beanbag and rests her chin in her hands with silent anticipation.

The inevitability of this conversation hits Tammy all at once as they all slowly turn to look at her with expectant, curious eyes that shine brightly at the promise of any new information about their ringleaders. Underneath that, however, there is also a deep and unmistakable sense of care shining in all five pairs of eyes, and that’s what ultimately makes Tammy push forward.

“The thing about Deb and Lou is that…” she sighs, shaking her head slightly, looking for the right words.

“…at a certain point in their lives, they were all the other had. I don’t know if any of you can relate to that in any way, but there is a sense of responsibility in doing everything you can to preserve a relationship with a person like that. As much as we always see them as the two people who swing hardest to achieve whatever goal or plan is on the horizon…as far as I know they’ve never dared take such a risk with each other.”

Nine Ball nods solemnly in understanding, Amita and Constance exchange a curious look and Rose discreetly dabs under her eyes as they all try to process what they’ve just heard.

“Bullshit,” Daphne retorts after a minute or two of heavy silence. “I mean, I get it…sort of. But _bullshit_!”

When everyone turns to look at her, she goes on to explain, but not before giving a practiced half-smirk that shows just the right amount of teeth.

“I’ve never seen two people who had something so real before in my life,” she admits almost shyly and there is not a trace of insincerity in her voice.

“Like sure, Hollywood does make you a bit jaded about certain things after a while, but that’s exactly why I’ve learned early on to tell the difference between what’s true and what’s just…well, acting. That right there,” she says pointing in the direction of the two women curled together on the couch, Lou’s long hands draped loosely around Debbie’s waist, and one of hers tangled in Lou’s tousled hair as they sleep soundly still, “is as real as it gets.”

Nobody says anything after that, all the others can do is nod in agreement and that’s that.

* * *

Debbie cautiously blinks one eye open as the door closes behind the girls, the promise of ice cream already enough to get them out of the house as fast as possible, no questions asked. When all she sees is the empty loft, she allows a small smile to spread over her lips accompanied by a fond shake of her head.

“We’re clear.”

Lou only grunts in response, burrowing even closer into Debbie’s warmth now that the blanket has been kicked off yet again, and was stuck somewhere between their legs.

“Is that all you’re gonna say?” Deb asks, amused, but her fingers move of their own accord to sift through sleep-soft hair as she touches Lou’s fringe, her face, and down along the line of her jaw, all because she can.

Then, with feigned nonchalance she adds, “Daphne had quite the input about us, didn’t she?”

“Mm, sh’rite,” Lou mumbled unintelligibly into Deb’s shoulder, almost as if even she didn’t mean for it to be heard, but Debbie wasn’t about to let her get away with it and leaned in closer to the blonde, “What’s that, baby?”

“I said, ‘she’s right’,” came the familiar drawl of an answer, Lou sounding much more awake than a moment before, her eyes shining as she looked right at Debbie, letting all they never said to each other show in her eyes for once.

Debbie returned her gaze with so much affection of her own that Lou felt herself tearing up as their eyes stayed locked onto each other for an impossibly long time, saying with this one look all that they should have vocalised ages ago, way before deciding that that just wasn’t who they were.

But then again, Debbie decided that maybe some changes were good.

“I think she might be,” she whispered, and this time Lou watched as a tear fell from her eye, all the way down her perfect cheek and into the collar of an old shirt that Lou used to sleep in, back before they ever fell out of each other’s orbit. “I’m only sorry I haven’t figured it out sooner.”

“’ts okay, honey,” Lou said as she placed a kiss on her partner’s tear-streaked cheek. “You can’t always be the genius, you know.”

Debbie chuckled before turning to Lou fully and peppering her still slightly damp face with her sweet kisses as if making up for all those times when her lips weren’t touching the soft, soft skin.

“Hey,” Lou drawled with a lopsided smirk, looking more like herself than she has in days, “as much as I’m enjoying this, you are _so_ gonna get sick if you don’t stop doing that, partner.”

“Yeah, I know,” Debbie husked as she leaned in to press their lips together fully, smiling into their kiss. “Might as well make the most of it, _partner_.”

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr under the same name, prompts are always welcome :)
> 
> (and for those of you who want to know which of the girls spoke in the second scene and in what order while Lou was completely out of it, here goes: C, R, A, D, C, A, D)


End file.
